Effective negotiators, whether they be cooperative or intimidators are known to share a few common traits. The following is a list of just a few qualities of an effective negotiator:

  • Self-controlled.
  • Focused on the objectives of the transaction.
  • Removed emotionally from the issues.
  • Patient with the process.
  • Skillful in reading the clues and the issues
  • Prepared on the facts and the issues.

What you do with your negotiating style is the most important. The approach that you use is irrelevant. Whether you are a cooperative or intimation negotiator, here are some suggestions that work:

  • Remain self-controlled and dignified. When the negotiator keeps a distance between themselves and the problem, the process really works.
  • Remember the objective of the transaction. Ask yourself throughout the negotiations, “Why are we here?” Framing the question this way reminds us that each party has a vested interest and desired outcome.
  • Be honest. It is only in being honest that real progress can be made towards reestablishing trust and respect.
  • Be aware of your faults. If you are cooperative, do not give away all the facts of the case searching in vain for reciprocity. If you are an intimidator, remember to be open to new ideas and remain flexible.
  • Listen to what your opponent is saying and clarify the reasons for the demands made. When the reasons are clarified and re-clarified, it avoids the possibility of miscommunication.
  • Be patient with the process of negotiating. The goal is to reach an agreement before the deadline. This can take two hours, two months or two years.
  • Be prepared with the facts, figures and issues of both sides of the dispute. The question to ask yourself here is whether you’ve done your homework. For example, knowing the past history of a related deal can be helpful during the negotiations because most people will try their best to avoid making the same mistake twice.

It is in opening ourselves to how other see the world that we gain the real advantage. It is through this expression of understanding that we become effective negotiators. Therefore, here are a few more questions you may wish to ask yourself: Why am I not negotiating everything successfully? What are my weaknesses? What do I need to learn about myself in order to become more effective as a negotiator

© Delton Henderson for Solvere Group LLC. All rights reserved.